We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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