she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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