in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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