So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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