you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
