I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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