shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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