that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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