Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
