for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
