its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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