I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize