Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
