i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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