I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Life is so much better after having sex.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Randomize
