yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
