Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
