Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
