He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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