She announced her abortion via fbk
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
