OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
