Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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