Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
