I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize