quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Be still, my beating vagina.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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