i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
