how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
