I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
