Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
