Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
