I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
