she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
