I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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