My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize