All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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