I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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