dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
