my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
