Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
