speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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