I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize