WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
