Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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