OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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