she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
