his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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