I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
