he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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