We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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