this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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