I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i came on her dog
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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