I wish I could teleport
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
