Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
