we made out on top of his cat.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
