p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
