i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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