She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
