We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
